Will Corey Crawford…please stand up (or Rise Against?)




I guess before i initiate my favorite mode (SNARK also known as dry humor also known as AWESOME WITTICISMS), i should compose it in a different format.  Something with more of a personal touch…


A personal letter should suffice.  Deep Thoughts by Jester.

Dear Corey Crawford,

First and foremost i’d like to say you’re doing a bang up job.  I’m sure, at least.  I don’t watch you because, well, you’re the enemy.  Which means you’re likely suuuuper boring.  And you could have super glue on your hands grabbing speeding pucks out of mid air with your eyes closed and i’d still think you were el diablolito.  Primarily because your first name isn’t jimmy (or as I weirdly refer MY goalie… JIMMY JIMMEEEEEH) or you weren’t nicknamed “Monster” (duh, my other goalie).


SO, specifically, thank you SO MUCH for providing me comic feedback with my-for the ages-rivalry with my bestie with this headline:

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And not just any concert.  A Riiiiiiiise Against concert.


Hey, at least it wasn’t Nickelback again.  THANK YOU FOR THAT, CANADA.

At least Canada made one decision easier….


Anywho – i officially have yet another reason to mercilessly taunt my so called “friend” about her “hockey” team.

But, then, i was quickly reminded of a glaring offense by my fantastic brilliant Detroit Red Wings by other “concerned hockey citizens”…

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Touche, Chicago…touche…